Great big test anxiety setting in . . .

I postponed it until the last possible date because of the anxiety I feel about this stupid test.

The program that I'm applying for have said that the test is only a very small part of the total application package. This should have been encouraging, but instead I've found it more worrisome. I think that's because if I knew a target score of what they were looking for, I could at least shoot (& prepare for that).

After 4:30 today, I will move on.

Pointing fingers always works . . .

The previous post had some quotes from a well-known national African American education reform leader. As a white educator who has chosen to teach in a community that is predominately of color, there have been numerous times over the past decade that I've been accused of racism. Too often, I'm judged by the color of my skin and not by the content of my character.

The students that I have taught over the years who have been the most successful have parental supports in place that do not make excuses, not only for the educator but the for the student. These parental supports are willing to engage in meaningful conversations with the teacher in trying to find solutions to help their child be successful.

The handful of kids that I have had in which their parent or guardian has said that I was racist have done so after I tried to hold their child accountable, whether that be for getting their work done, treating others with respect, or not making excuses for their bad behavior. The charge of racism never came before I placed an expectation on the child that the parent disagreed with & more than once, the parent demanded from my administrator that the child be moved to another classroom.

When I hear the phrase, "soft bigotry of low expectations," it is usually referenced to the white educator. There seems to be this belief that if you are a white teacher in a school district that is highly diverse, that you are doing so in order to pick on or hold down children of color.

While I can only speak for myself, I know that this is a bad assumption to make. The educator, regardless of color that is committed to making this world a better place, often chooses to teach in the toughest conditions. For myself, I chose to stay in my district, even though many of the colleagues that began teaching with have moved on to teach in districts that do not have all of the "problems" of my district. I have always held onto the belief that every child regardless of zip code deserves to have a quality education that is delivered by a quality educator. 

The "soft bigotry of low expectations," too often does not come from the teacher in the classroom. Rather it comes from those far removed who refuse to support teachers when problems arise and instead, tell the teacher that maybe you are too tough, or you lack strong classroom management, or the only reason you called home to report on your child who just maliciously assaulted another student is because they are black.

It is always easier to point fingers as to why something is wrong. White teachers in a highly diverse community seem to be very easy targets. I would prefer being allowed to engage in conversations and work with the community in order to solve the issues that prevent our students from being successful. I prefer getting my hands dirty and my ego bruised if it means making things better for the students and the community I've been called to serve.

On being accused of racism . . .

From this day forward let's all commit to calling every person a racist who uses race to explain teacher failure, every time, everywhere.


Using race, family & poverty as excuses for your limitations is, among other things, racist. If you can't get results get a new job.


I'm tired of teachers who deflect responsibility & make themselves victims. If you can't get results it's not parents' fault it's yours.


The above are all quotes from a well-known African American educator who is routinely featured on a national news program. These were recent tweets.


I'm submitting them to my readers without comment. Curious as to what others think. 

the earring . . .

Artist Girl got her first piercing when she was in 8th grade. Guitar Teen, I believe, was probably around the same age when he wanted his first earring. Last week, Wrestling Fan, asked if he could get his ear pierced. He is going to be sixteen in a few months & I'm quite surprised that he hadn't asked before now.

Wrestling Fan has been working really hard in school and is proving to be a very responsible teen. When he first texted me his request, I told him that we would need to have a conversation with dad. The next day, I had a lunch date with my husband, so I brought it up in conversation with him. He was fine with it.

Last Friday, we took him to get his ear pierced & he's now sporting some nice bling (well, what under $40 in bling will get you anyway!) in his left year.

He got quite the kick out of the young woman who was doing the piercing. She asked him if he was over or under 18.

It stoked his ego, just a bit.

more happy

Tonight, my husband, my parents and I are going to go see a band play. We are then going to spend the night at my parents house.

The laptop is staying here.

I'm not going to check my work and/or union e-mail until Monday.

The thought alone puts me in my happy place.

I could handle my supe . . .

if I felt like I had more support from the leadership group for my union.

We have twenty people on this leadership team. Of those, I can count on maybe five or six (if I'm being generous) to do anything for the organization.

Granted, they are volunteers with full-time teaching positions. I know they are overworked & stressed out. However in order to become part of the leadership team, you have to be elected for a position. This means that you should realize that once you decide to put your name out there, you are committed to actually DO something.

I cannot stand when people run for positions, simply for the title.

I get annoyed when plans are made, people commit to those plans & then decide at the last minute to not go or not do anything.

I get frustrated when people bitch & moan at our meetings about how they think things should be and aren't willing to work hard to make sure that things we value can actually BE!

I get pissed when something is calendared for five months, then someone emails a week away from a major event that now they can't go & oh, yeah, don't you remember I mentioned it to you TWO MONTHS ago?!!

Seriously, folks, I've been consistently told from a lot of people that I'm one of the hardest working presidents in recent memory for my union. That is because of my high work ethic & level of integrity.

I wish that others would feel the same.

(from ms_teacher who wishes it wasn't so early so that she could go have a large martini somewhere.)

I'm having a dilemma

I'm supposed to go speak today on behalf of my new superintendent. If I truly believed in the vision, this would be a no brainer. However, because this new superintendent is clearly making things personal & I don't believe that this superintendent likes or trusts teachers, I am sitting here writing a blog post instead of getting ready.

This superintendent is expecting me to speak about what a wonderful job he is doing & how I trust in his vision for my district in order to prevent funding to stop for one of our programs.

Something came up over the week-end that I needed to speak to our board members about. The three that I have decent relationships with, I called. That afternoon, I contacted our superintendent to find out if he was going to complete the letter I need okaying my attending the doctorate program. This program requires me to miss one day a month.

The Superintendent said that we needed to talk because he has concerns. Concerns that were not brought up when I spoke to him previously.

I know for certain that if I don't go & do the rah-rah that he expects me to do, my fate is sealed.

This year has been one of the worst ever.

---

I've made the decision not to compromise my integrity. I need to live with myself. I fully understand the consequences of my actions & know that this may very well postpone my ability to attend a doctoral program. 

OMFG

I very rarely use profanity. My frustration level is pretty high right now at the people I have been elected to represent.  I was at a meeting today & this teacher started to ask me questions. She was very friendly - almost too friendly, kind of the sickly sweet friendliness that should have made me question her friendliness.

After the meeting was over, I was asked to stay to discuss a major development in our district. After the discussion was over, the super friendly teacher came to talk to me.

She was a black widow in disguise.

She immediately started attacking me and questioning my due diligence to the people I represent.  This wasn't criticism. Believe me, over the past two years, I've been privy to plenty of criticism. This was a full on attack.

Here's the funny point in all of this.

This member? I've yet to see her once show up for any union action, any Board meeting, anything that might show that she at least supports the work of her union & the work we do on her behalf.

So yeah, I suck & you? You don't have to do a goddamn thing to make it better.

Feel better now?