A visit from a relative . . .

A couple of nights ago, I was visited by my great-grandma.

She passed away over 15 years ago.

She was a chain-smoker of Pallmalls. She was a terrific baker of pies, bread, cinnamon rolls, and other treats such as divinity and date nut rolls.

She could not bake cookies to save her life.

Her daughter, my maternal grandma, her only child, died at the age of 45.

I turn 45 exactly one month from this Wednesday.

Yeah, that has been on my mind a lot lately.

randomness

• I am amazed at the stupid comments people make without thinking about what they are actually saying.
• I think that even when it's not your year to be evaluated, that you still teach as if you are being evaluated. You don't only bring your "A" game when someone else is in the room.
• Is hurt that someone has chosen to cut me out of their life. This someone I considered to be like a sister - in fact, I was closer to her than I am to my own sister.
• She has chosen to do this because I friended someone on a popular social networking site that she has also cut out of her life.
• Is very proud of Wrestling Fan.
• WF went up to a kid at his high school today because he had noticed this kid was eating lunch alone every day. This kid is really overweight, but WF went up to him and asked him if he had any friends. The kid replied, "no." So WF told him, "well you do now" and introduced him to his friends.
• I was glad for the two days of summer heat (Tuesday and Wednesday) but love the cool off that today brought.

are we teaching and reaching ALL kids?

This is from a friend who shared this on another site that I visit. I asked her if I could share it on my blog and she has graciously obliged. When the youngest was going through his severe anxiety five years ago, this friend's child had similar issues and thus, she provided for me the ability to not feel alone and reassurance. When your child is going through something that so profoundly effects your family, it's easy to feel alone and to feel very inadequate as a parent.

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I'm the mom of a child who's been diagnosed with a smorgasbord of emotional disorders, and I often have to hear how these "disorders" are fake because "they did not exist in my day." Yes, they did. Remember the kid in class who couldn't sit still? Remember the one who was too shy to even mutter a word? Remember the socially awkward nerdy kid?

Remember how the teacher could divide the class up and have different kids do different things? Remember clapping erasers? Being a milk money runner? Being a messenger or a audio/video helper? Now with everything computerized, there's no need for a kid to take a note to a teacher on the other hall. Smart boards have no erasers to clap. Recess is often done away with to make more room for reading and math instruction to improve those all important test scores. At least in my kid's experience, there were very few projects -- even in art. Everything they did was to get ready for the test. My child went to public school from Kindergarten through sixth grade and never made a pinch pot or a shadow box. Never.

When I was a kid we were moving and doing and helping and making things. We were not sitting still and bubbling in. I was the bright kid who finished early and started getting into mischief by talking too much or making funny noises. There's a reason I like throat singing, I was apparently attempting to do it myself in fourth grade. I didn't get labeled, but I sure did get to help put a lot of bulletin boards up. If kids struggled the teacher could slow down. If I child were bored, the teacher could give a more challenging assignment.

But I think that now, when everybody is expected to be the "same," the differents stick out. The labels ADHD, Asperger's, OCD, etc. weren't around when I was a kid, but the symptoms were there. I know. I had a smorgasbord of them too.

bad decisions from administrators . . .

Two years ago, I had the privilege of teaching a group of GATE students. When I found out that I would be teaching these kids, I tried to find as much information online as possible about teaching gifted kids. Many people wrongly assume that gifted kids are self-motivators and do not need a lot of guidance. This cannot be further from the truth. Just like any other group of kids, you will have some that are self-motivated, but for many they are going to need help to stay on task and a level of instruction that is not going bore them.

In the school where I taught, the GATE kids had me for language arts and history. The administration assigned these kids to a TFA teacher for their math instruction. In their 7th grade year, the administration assigned them to another brand new teacher for their math instruction. For two years in a row, these students were assigned to brand new teachers who had no understanding of how to teach gifted students. This may not pose a problem in other districts that have strong new teacher support or great professional development. In my district, we have lacked both for as long as I have been there.

I developed a friendship with a parent of one my students. The other day I received a message from her that she wanted to talk about Shawn's latest STAR results. Shawn had performed phenomenally well in language arts in his 6th and 7th grade year. However, his math scores have plummeted for two years and she was very upset. This is a parent who has been a strong advocate for her child, probably ever since he started school.

Shawn is now in the 8th grade and she wanted to talk to me about the teacher he would have for math this year. Thankfully, his teacher this year is not a newbie and is probably one of the best math teachers in the district. Shawn's mom wanted to find out from me what her next step would be because a kid who had once excelled and loved math had now become a kid who absolutely detested it.

I couldn't help but sympathize with her and I gave her some advice on how to proceed. Regardless, I also couldn't help but be a bit miffed at my former administrators. I knew exactly what they were thinking when they assigned the GATE students to newbie math teachers two years in a row. They thought that they were doing the teacher a favor by giving them students who, for the most part, have virtually no behavior problems. However, this decision to do this to them two years in a row may have a devastating effect on them for some time to come.

I hope that my math colleague who has them this year can turn things around for them.

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edited to add:

I'm not bashing the teachers here, rather I'm expressing my frustration with decisions that are made that end up effecting both the teachers and students alike.

Yet, when test scores come out, it is the teachers that are held accountable. Many teachers have very little say on who they are teaching. Teacher support is almost non-existent in my school district. When new teachers are hired, it is sink or swim for many of them. If they are sinking, it is almost a guarantee that they will receive a non-reelect within their first two years. When they write too many referrals, they are slammed by the administration for not having better classroom management.

Yet again, when the test results come out, no one will ask about the story behind the numbers.

I'm becoming one of those people . . .

who can talk before large groups of people without shaking in my boots!

I used to be in awe of people who could get up and speak before crowds of people. I remember that I would think to myself that it was something I would never be able to do.

I've overcome this fear, but don't expect me to overcome my fear of heights. I'll never be someone who jumps out of planes.

Not even for a million bucks . . . . well, maybe.

when something works

My husband and I have are not caught up in having a perfect house, which translates into that we can be slobs at home. There I said it.

When parents are not good role models for their kids when it comes to setting rules and assigning chores for the home that everyone shares, one cannot be surprised when the kids do as little as possible at home.

Not making excuses, but both my husband and I have moms whose homes are very, very clean. My mom will admit that she cannot relax at all in her own home unless the dishes are done, the floors are swept, the bathrooms are cleaned, and the beds are made (just to name a few). I grew up in a home that while always comfortable, we simply did not leave anything out of its place.

Imagine my freedom when I moved out!

Imagine what I vowed when I started to have kids. "I'll never be like my mom when it comes to making my kids do chores."

That's when things have a tendency of biting us in the a$$.

On Thursday, my husband kind of blew his top. He could not find any clean towels anywhere in the house. The towel that had been in our bathroom had disappeared. When he walked into the kids' bathroom upstairs, there were a pile of clothes and towels on the floor.

He went to bed in disgust.

I had Wrestling Fan help gather up some towels and do a load of laundry.

Right before I went to bed, I wrote a note to my wonderful three kidlets (two of which are now adultlets and need to start doing more around the house - but how do I undo twenty years of damage?).

The essence of the note was that if clothes were not picked up and put away from the next afternoon, all clothes found by the afternoon (no clear time specified because they would have waited until the very last millisecond before tearing through the house) would go away to people who would appreciate them.

I grabbed a garbage bag at 7 last night which is so not the afternoon, but I was tired and wonders of wonders, most everything was gone from their bathroom, our laundry room and the couch. I was able to give away some things, but for the most part, any clothes that they valued was gone and "put away" where "put away" equals probably on their bedroom floors.

Oh, and Wrestling Fan, totally earned some major bonus points from me. He swept the floor of the laundry room on his own.

unbelievable

Today, I received something in the mail that I found to be quite unbelievable. In short, I've been accused of racism.

What an ugly word.

Devastating really to anyone who works to always not to judge anyone by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.

Wrong when it is thrown around as an accusation and weakened in its effect when it is used indiscriminately.

Disgusted that some might think it true.

Relieved that so many more will absolutely know in their core that it's not.

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I feel better today than I did yesterday. I know that things will work out.

Thank you to everyone who commented. As I can share more, I will.

My day in San Diego

Friday was the last day of training in Los Angeles. When I found out earlier in the summer that I was going to be in Southern California, I sent a message to Jenn to let her know that I would be in her neck of the woods. She suggested I take AmTrak down to San Diego where she would pick me up.

She actually picked me up in Solana Beach shaving a nice 50 minutes off my travel time. We walked along the "main" street in Solana Beach where there are a lot of nice quirky shops. One of the shops we stopped in specialized in cool items from New Zealand. The even better part is the woman (who I am almost certain was probably the owner as well) had a lovely New Zealand accent.

We enjoyed dinner at a terrific restaurant. Of course, the name of said restaurant is failing me now, but the food was great. We spent much of our time talking about teaching and our families. I think we must have overstayed our welcome because the waitress came over to us to inform us that she had a reservation at that very table coming very soon.

Before driving to Jenn's home, we visited La Jolla and the Children's Pool. I enjoyed learning about some of the history and the controversy that surrounds this area, but enjoyed even more seeing the seals up close.

We then headed back to Jenn's minivan and headed to her home. I had the great privilege and honor of meeting her husband, Mr. Fix-it, as well as Grown-up Girl (I loved her wit - that girl is going places I tell ya!), Social Butterfly, Danger Boy and Pedro. (I met MVP the next morning.) I could tell that Jenn's children were just as thrilled to meet me as I was in meeting them ;)

We talked for a couple of hours as we enjoyed sipping some champagne (what was it called?). Soon I found myself yawning after a long week of learning school finance, I was ready to call it a day. I also couldn't wait to try my hand at kayaking, something that Jenn does on a regular basis and she knew it was something I wanted to try.

After getting a good night's sleep in the SAME BED THAT BOSSY SLEPT IN, I woke up around 8:30, got dressed, fixed my hair, and applied a bit of make-up (so as not to scare any small children and/or beagles).

Jenn and I headed out to Starbucks, talked some more, and then headed out to kayak. Jenn got in her kayak first and was great at showing me how to get in to avoid tipping it over. We were off for our kayaking adventure. Jenn was also very gracious in letting me catch up to her too many times to count. She later stated that her and her friend regularly kayak around the perimeter of the reservoir - I believe she said it was five miles around. Needless to say, I didn't go as far. We chatted even more and I think it was during this time where we realized how much we have in common.

After we were done kayaking, we headed back to her house, showered and headed back out. Our next destination was Balboa Park - a place that I remember from living in San Diego in the early 70's. We decided to eat at Prado's, where we split a nice sandwich and salad. It was quite the coincidence when we both realized we were eying the same two items on the menu! There was also tasty pita chips with a spicy hummus that we ate prior to getting our meal. Guess what - we talked even more!

Jenn took a lot of pictures of the beautiful flowers, sculptures, butterflies and the fountain. At some point we were walking and noticed a room that had a whole bunch of flowers. Imagine our surprise when we found out we had stumbled upon the Dahlia Society's show. We admired the many varieties of dahlias. Who knew that dahlias came in so many different colors, sizes, and shapes?

Before Jenn drove me to the airport, we made our way to Cabrillo National Monument. It is always a sobering moment when driving past rows of military grave markers. (As a Navy Brat, it makes me more proud of my dad and his years of military service. We enjoyed the beautiful San Diego bay full of sailboats as well as the view of the city of San Diego.

Before we knew it, my time in San Diego was coming to an end. Jenn drove me to the airport, we hugged, she drove off as I headed inside to get my ticket.

Reflecting upon my visit with Jenn, I realized that even though we had just met for the first time in real life, we've been friends all along.