Being Part of a Legacy

On Friday, a good friend and colleague and I held a celebration for Mary, who will be officially retiring at the end of June. Mary was forced into retirement because she was one of the 26,000 teachers who received final lay-off notices. She has worked as a teacher in my school district for over 30 years. She is also one of only six teachers in the District who did not hold certification for teaching ELL's, so that was the justification the District used in getting rid of some of their long-term teachers.

We had asked Mary who she wanted at her retirement party. We invited the people Mary wanted and had a really good turn-out of almost fifty people that held a special place in her heart. Many were former colleagues who have since left the District but are teaching in other districts or who still work in some way in education.

Just before people started leaving, we gave Mary her gift. She was surprised by it (enough money to purchase an I-Phone along with a very hefty gift card from Amazon). She was overwhelmed by the generosity, but I know by the look on her face, extremely pleased that so many of us feel truly blessed to have Mary in our lives.

As pictures were being taken, someone had the suggestion that all the former presidents of our association pose for a picture. Mary also said that I needed to be in the picture as well as the president-elect. As I stood waiting for the various camaras to flash, I looked at the row of women I was standing with. At Mary's party, there were five past presidents - all of them women, all of them strong and passionate about education and the students they have taught over the years.

These women have all told me that they are there for me. They have all offered to help, be my sounding board, and hold my hand (if needed) over the next two years during my tenure as president of my association. I could not help but be struck by the legacy that I am now part of, this legacy of strong women who have been at the helm, leading the way.

It was an awesome feeling.

Thankful Thursday (stolen from Mary Alice)

My Thankful Thursday list:

I am thankful for . . .

1. the true friendship that I share with my husband,
2. my parents who stepped in to help us with Guitar Teen,
3. Guitar Teen making a true, concerted effort to do well in school this year,
4. that all of my family is healthy and we all have health insurance,
5. the cool breeze coming through our back door.

So, how about you? What are you thankful for?

Dad and men and women like him

My dad served in the U.S. Navy for 22 years. He missed many of our birthdays, anniversaries, and many of our milestones. While he did serve in the Navy during the Vietnam War, I do not think that he ever faced any serious conflicts. During the Iran hostage crisis, my dad was in the Indian Ocean for a period of approximately four months. He was completely incommunicado as was the entire crew of the ship. It was a tense situation, but like so many other Navy families, we made it through the uncertainty.

My dad often did tours of duty that lasted between 6 to 10 months. While it was hard on my mom, we all agree that it had to be harder on my dad. My mom always felt that at least she could go see family, visit with friends, or visit with other Navy wives when she started feeling particularly blue. My dad, on the other hand, had to endure the company of men that he may or may not have liked for long periods of time. He did get the occasional "break" when they docked at a port, such as in Australia where he bought me an opal ring that I still have or in Japan, where he bought me a Japanese doll honoring the Cherry Blossom festival - something I still have as well. However, these breaks were few and far between.

There are millions of men like my dad. Many men and women chose to serve their country either during peace times or without facing actual combat. These men and women also deserve our kudos on Memorial Day. While they did not make the ultimate sacrifice of losing their lives, most of them would have if the need ever arose. It is easy to dismiss the service of our men and women during times of peace. And it is why the cynic in me questions the patriotism of those who choose to embrace our military men and women only when it seems to be politically expedient.

The Dilemma

During my campaign to be president of my association, the person I ran against was not pleased with the fact that I was running against her. She had wrongly assumed that hers would be an uncontested race and that she should have been a shoo-in to win. As a current co-president, one who had much more access to teachers at the various school sites in my District, she should have won for the sole reason that more people know her than they do me.

However, she not only lost to me, but lost by a pretty good margin. This loss occurred for a couple of reasons. First, the other co-president, Mary* was supporting my candidacy. This is important because Mary has been president of our association for a decade and has taught in our District for over 30 years. Many people trust what she has to say and the fact she wasn't endorsing her co-president was huge. Second, many teachers were dissatisfied with the performance of Anne* as co-president of our association. However, Anne is unwilling to admit to the second reason as any cause for her defeat. Rather, she has told numerous people that I only won because Mary went around bad-mouthing her during the campaign (which is explicitly untrue).

Since her defeat, Anne has blatantly given me the cold shoulder. At no time has she offered any sort of congratulations, either face to face or through e-mail. In fact, in two separate public forums, she completely ignored the results of the election and was asked point-blank by one of our members (the day after the election) if the election results were going to be discussed. She said "no." Sour grapes anyone?

Imagine my surprise this morning when I get an e-mail from her offering to chair a rather important committee in our association. So that is my dilemma. I've already e-mailed Mary to get her opinion and will also talk to the members of that committee to find out if anyone who is already on it is willing to step up to chair.

So, my dear readers, what would you do if you were me?

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edited to add:
Of course, after posting this, I worried how I might come off as a sore winner. I hope that is not the case!

I have since talked to Mary, who pretty much had the same suggestion as Loonyhiker. Anne has been e-mailed with my response that I appreciate her offer and that when the time comes, I will keep her name under consideration.

At this point I think that this is the best I can do.

*All names have been changed to protect the innocent and not so innocent.

Friday Fill-Ins

1. Moving is not something I fear.

2. A warm smile is always free.

3. My best quality is is listening.

4. I am sure that am not aware of all the details about being president.

5. In nearly 10 years, my husband will probably want to retire.

6. A good night of sleep is what I need right now!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to relaxing, tomorrow my plans include visiting my parents and bringing my Guitar Teen home for the summer and Sunday, I want to have a margarita (or two)!

Quick Hit

• Husband and I had a nice date night. We saw Angels and Demons. I liked it, husband thought it was "okay."
• I've lost another pound bringing my total since last summer to 18 lbs and since I began an official getting healthy regimen in January, 10 lbs.
• Since the weight loss, I definitely cannot eat as much w/o severe consequences to deal with, most specifically with gastro-intestinal issues.
• I'm still enjoying the Wii Fit and told Wrestling Fan that it was so nice for him to want this for his birthday.
• There are times when I cannot believe I won the president's position.
• The woman that I beat is refusing to talk to me. Nothing like a sore loser.
• We have a month left of school. As president, I will be working an 80% position for the union, owing 20% to the District. This means that almost 10 years of teaching materials needs to be packed up.
  
• I'll have my own office space as president, which means that the official Obama inauguration print that I purchased a couple of months ago will be featured prominently in said offce space!
• It is too hot this week-end to have the A/C go out.
  
• Also forgot to mention that this post from here was mentioned at Learn-gasm's 100 Incredibly Inspiring Blog Posts by Educators. Neat! (h/t to Mr. D for giving me the heads up!)
  

have a lovely Sunday everyone!

Lovely Daughter

Artist Girl returned home early Thursday. As suspected, she has been battling some of her old demons as well as battling with her (now ex) boyfriend. Early Thursday morning things got very ugly with her boyfriend. She tried to leave, he grabbed her and would not let her go. At one point, she ended up outside and he locked her out of the house. Her car keys were inside and all she wanted to do was to come home. He shoved her at least once during all of this.

The reason we had so little communication with her over the past month or so is because he was monitoring her phone calls. He would accuse her of talking to other guys and also would not allow her to go online.

When she told us all of this Thursday morning, I told her that her dad and I have had arguments over the years, but neither one of us had ever laid our hands on the other. She told us that she knew that and that she was tired of living in fear of pissing him off when she wasn't doing anything. Since she came home on Thursday, she has received quite a lot of texts from him. She finally sent him a text telling him she was not coming back and repeated what I had said about her dad and I.

She also called our health care provider yesterday to go back into counseling. The good in all of this is that she confessed that she had come very close to cutting herself again, but controlled that impulse. So even though she has had another setback in her mental health recovery the fact that she did not turn to cutting to relieve some of her stress tells me she is at least trying to stop some of her old destructive behaviors.

Last night, she stayed home. We watched America's Funniest together. We were both laughing really hard more than a few times. It was just nice to have her home, knowing that she was safe.

Gotta Love Student Responsibility!

I have a student who is tardy a lot. When a student is not in the classroom when the late bell rings, I have to mark them absent. If they show up during classtime, it is my responsibility to change their absence to a tardy. Sometimes I forget because I'm doing other things, like teaching, to remember to change it.

On Friday, little Miss Tardy-A-Lot, was either tardy or absent. The reason I don't remember almost a week later if she was here last Friday is because she was suspended the first three days of this week. My strategy when she returned from being absent was to check her language arts notebook for work we did in class on Friday. I called her over to my desk and asked her to bring her notebook. She brought it over very willingly and I proceeded to look through it.

As I'm thumbing through the pages, her standing next to me, she doesn't utter a word. Suddenly, I turn to a page that shocks me to no end. On it she has written profanity about a teacher on campus (something that I'm used to) along with a threat of physical violence (most specifically wanting to slit said teacher's throat). That didn't even shock me as much as her response to all of this. When I showed her what I was looking at, she just shrugged her shoulders. Remember, she gave me the notebook willingly without so much as a second glance as to anything that might cause her any problems.

Many schools have a zero-tolerance policy when it comes to situations like this. I have the notebook and had to contact the parent. When I called home, the parent was very upset. Not with her child, but rather with me. First, she questioned what I was doing looking through her notebook, then she complained that she has been down to the school several times to set up a conference and we never did (I know for a fact that she never did this) and finally, she didn't understand what the big deal was over just words on a paper.

A conference will be scheduled for next week. Of course, I won't hold my breath that there will be any change in behavior or for that matter, any willingness to take responsibility by the parent or the child.

Mother's Day

One day, I know things will be better with my daughter. At least that is what I hope for. I guess if I think about this not being a possibility, then it would break my heart. Artist girl continues to fight her demons and in the meantime, she shuts out those of us who care most about her in the world. She told me a while ago that she is tired of disappointing me. I don't think she understands that she is not the disappointment; rather it is some of the choices she has made. Of course, I have told her this but at this point in her life she is not ready to let me in.

She was supposed to come over for her dad's birthday. She never did. My last communication with her was on Tuesday. This morning I went online to check our phone records to see if she had used her phone. The last time she had used it was late Wednesday afternoon. Mom's, you know how we are - I have been thinking since last Wednesday something was horribly wrong.

She finally sent me a text message today wishing me a happy mother's day. She told me she didn't want to come over because she didn't want to answer questions about what has been going on. She's been stressed. This sends off the alarm bells in my head because I know what her past behavior has been when she experiences high levels of stress. However because she's twenty and considered an adult, there is not a damn thing I can do.

When your child is small and they hurt themselves, you can help to make it better. As a parent when you nurture your child, kissing their boo-boos, you feel good about being a parent. That extinct to help your child does not magically disappear when they reach adulthood. Instead of having a feeling worthiness, you feel helpless and hopeless. I am helpless to help her unless she wants me to help her.

Smack Ass Fridays

Today on my way back to my classroom during lunch, I witnessed Jeremy run past Liza. Both of these kids are my students, but do not have classes together. Jeremy is heavy weight and Liza is very cute and has a lot of 6th grade boys interested.

As Jeremy ran past Liza, he smacked her on her butt. Liza saw me, came running over to tell me about it. I told her that she needed to fill out an incident report and I would do a referral. Later on during my prep, I ran into TFA partner teacher who told me that apparently Fridays at our school is "Smack Ass Fridays." Both boys and girls are participating in this, some very willingly, especially if the opposite gender is the one you are interested in.

Well, Liza is definitely not interested in Jeremy. However, I had to wonder to myself if she would have so willingly told on Jeremy if it had been one of the boys she does like. I don't think so. Regardless, I had to write the referral on Jeremy and include the tag of "sexual harassment," which will go into his permanent file.

With all this energy and creativity spent on coming up with such a nifty title for a weekly event, one would wish that this same energy and creativity could be directed towards academics.

Almost Over!

Tomorrow is the BIG DAY.

All positive vibes are appreciated :)

I WON!!!!!!

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In other news, my beloved turns 49 tomorrow. Feel free to tell him "Happy Birthday" in the comments.