The Perfect Child

When a child is born, one counts toes and fingers to make sure that the child they hold is perfect. The visual inspection eases doubts that lingered through the nine months of carrying the child. Tests are run throughout the pregnancy. Results come back, once again, reassuring the parents-to-be that everything is normal.

The child is born. One holds the newborn, marveling at its perfection. One is relieved that their child is "perfectly normal."

However, there are no tests that will tell you what might happen in years to come. There are no tests for mental illnesses, which many times do not manifest themselves until the child reaches adolescence. Unlike a physical abnormality or even a mental handicap, there is nothing that prepares one for mental illness. It just all of a sudden appears and even before a bona fide diagnosis, when that "perfectly normal" child starts behaving in ways that are foreign to both the child and the parent, both are left wondering with feelings of uncertainty. The parent wondering where they went wrong and the child questioning what is wrong with me?

The parent slowly starts to realize that the struggle will be life-long. All one can do is reassure the child that they will be there for them.

That is all I can do. My heart aches for Artist Girl who I am slowly beginning to realize will battle her demons for a lifetime. The frustrations that I feel when she makes decisions that I will never understand are probably but a small piece of what she feels as she struggles to feel normal.