No Child Left Behind:
The Football Version
Author Unknown*
l. All teams must make the state playoffs, and all will win the championship. If a team does not win the championship, they will be on probation until they are the champions, and coaches will be held accountable.
2. All kids will be expected to have the same football skills at the same time and in the same conditions. No exceptions will be made for interest in football, a desire to perform athletically, or genetic abilities or disabilities. ALL KIDS WILL PLAY FOOTBALL AT A PROFICIENT LEVEL
3. Talented players will be asked to work out on their own without instruction. This is because the coaches will be using all their instructional time with the athletes who aren't interested in football, have limited athletic ability, or whose parents don't like football.
4. Games will be played year round, but statistics will only be kept in the 4th, 8th, and 11th games.
5. This will create a New Age of sports where every school is expected to have the same level of talent and all teams will reach the same minimal goals.
If no child gets ahead, then no child will be left behind.
(Note: I saw this linked on another blog, but do not remember which one. This was found here.)*As Dr. Bluestein has stated on her blog, the author is unknown, however, if you know who the author is, let us know!
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3 comments:
I love this! I actually sent it as an email to all the teachers on my team/in my department a few days before SOLs. There's also a comic out there somewhere that talks about making kids go down the slide at a certain speed or losing funding. Good stuff!
This is very funny and appropriate. I would like to put this on my blog. I am new to blogging - is it enough to include a link to your blog/name?
Thanks,
needed this laugh
By implication, does this mean you support ending compulsory schooling, or, at the very least, implementing tracking through each grade level?
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