Somehow I ended up being the bad guy. Mom said, "he has earned grades on some of his papers that he thought were unfair." My response, "he has never come to speak to me about any paper."
"Well, he doesn't always feel comfortable talking to teachers about things like this."
Uh well, then I can't help if I don't know which particular grade he
Then, she asked me about my grading policy in L.A. "What area in particular? Spelling? Grammar? Essays?" I asked. "You don't have a standard policy of grading for your assignments?" "No, grammar cannot be graded in the same way that an essay is graded. However, I always give very clear instructions and the standards that students need to cover when it's an essay and as for grammar, usually the answer is right or wrong."
"I still don't understand why you can't tell me how grade each thing exactly."
Now get this. This is the first time I have met formally with this parent. At no time has she called me on the phone or e-mailed me to ask why her child received a particular grade on any assignment, even though according to her, she is aware that her child has difficulty speaking to his teachers. Instead, she wants me to explain in general terms when she clearly has specific assignments in mind.
I'm frustrated. Several times throughout the meeting she said to all of us that she didn't know what else to do besides switching him off of our team. Her child ain't doing the work and I almost guarantee that she is not checking his agenda or checking to see if he has completed homework. It's just so much easier to blame all of us for his "lack of motivation" (her terms) than hold herself or her child accountable. I did mention in closing that all of our teachers in 6th grade hold all students to a high standard in that we expect students to do their work.
I don't think she "got it."
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7 comments:
You can lead a horse to water . . .
But maybe you planted a seed today.
I have had the same problems this year. Parents always want to blame me for their child's problems. I feel like they have issues with everything I do. I am very lucky to have the sixth grade team leader assign almost the same grades that I do. This helps to have her support. As a first year teacher I do not know what I would do if she was not there with me. I never have to meet with a parent alone and this has been a major help this year. I always pull out the state writing rubric when a parent has a question about how I grade. I love having that rubric and the state standards to give them at conferences. I also give it to all of my students and make them take it home for a parent to sign. This has made questions about grading go away.
I hear ya on this one. Nutty parents are the bane of our profession. A bad phone call or conference is enough to screw up my day. You have my sympathy!
AHHH! I guess if the parents don't have a good work ethic, then the kiddo doesn't either!
I hate those kinds of conferences.
I once had a case of plagiarism in my class: three students copied poems for a poetry portfolio. I announced to the class that three individuals had plagiarized. "The consequences will depend on what you do with the information I just gave you."
At the end of my planning period (two periods later), I found a letter of apology from one student and a "replacement poem," aptly enough about cheating.
Neither of the other two students said anything to me. I waited a day. The next day, when these two came in, I asked them, "Did you perhaps want to talk to me about anything?" "Nope."
Confusing.
Next day, just to see what would happen, I asked again. "Are you sure there's nothing on your mind?" "Nope."
So I gave them zeros and disciplinary referrals (which I knew would result in a day or two of ISS).
The father of one student (we'll call her Susie) calls me later. He's just wondering what exactly is going on. I tell him.
"Well, did Susie know? Did you tell her what you expected?"
I tell him again what I'd announced in class, then I mentioned that one student left me a note and a poem on my desk. "I guess she couldn't do it in person and chose to do it in writing," I say.
He goes on to tell me that it's not exactly fair that I was expecting something but not telling his child exactly what I was expecting. "If you wanted her to jump on one foot, she'd have have jumped on one foot if you'd told her."
As these words are coming out of his mouth, I think to myself, "I wonder how bad, how absurd, this is going to get?"
His next example: "If you'd wanted her to leave little love letters on your desk to make up for it, she would have!"
It was at that point that I decided to diplomatically end the conversation as quickly as possible...
Let them switch off your team. That is not an issue for you to worry about. Parents are looking for someone to blame and you are the current target. I have had parents blame me for the fact that their child doesn't have the most basic of math skills including knowing their multiplication tables in the 8th grade. Somehow I'm supposed to teach their darling Algebra when they don't know that zero times any number is zero! When I requested that the student learn her multiplication tables during a P/T conference, I was told bluntly by the father that he didn't want to hear that!
How very annoying.
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