When confronted with an angry parent/grandparent/guardian, do not engage in conversation with them.
Be polite at all costs. Many times parents are upset by what their child has told them, which is usually not the complete truth. There are times when I have let a parent rant and get whatever it is that's bothering them off their chest. Once they are able to have their say, I have been able to then talk to them about their child and the concerns or issues that I have. Other times, I just know that the conversation is not going to be positive. At that point, I let the parent know that I am ending the discussion, but they are welcome to continue it with my principal. Of course, depending upon your relationship with the principal, you may want to be present if they do call the principal. For me, I have been fortunate enough to just give my principal a heads up and let them know I am available if they need me to be.
At all times, I try to remain as professional as possible, then I rant to my co-workers or imbibe in my alcoholic beverage of choice when I get home (and in COMPLETE moderation because I'm responsible like that).
I know that it's tough to not take it personally when a parent/grandparent/guardian takes out their anger or frustration on you. There are times where you will deal with people who are not rational when it comes to their child. That's their problem.
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5 comments:
Good advice.
One way to make dealing with parents easier is to make an effort to contact families with positive feedback early in the year. If you start the year off by praising a child to his/her parents, it's easier to call later in the year with negative feedback if you need to.
Positive communication with parents can also pay powerful dividends in your relationships with students, which improves their behavior and performance, which gives you more reasons to contact their parents with good news--a wonderful sort of loop to get into!
I watched my kids' principal diffuse a potentially angry parent. This parent has a reputation of airing small slights publicly and making them into mountains. In this instance, the parent was ranting to the principal (in a public meeting) about how her family had been slighted by a group of volunteers (out of the principal's control.)
The principal let this parent rant. Then at a pause in the rant, the principal said: "So, what do you think we should do?" The parent - having vented and perhaps come to some realizations during that vent - had nothing to say except: "Well, I just wanted you to know about this."
It was beautiful.
wow, love the blog -- great tuesday tips, no matter what day of the week they're on...
I can totally relate! Sometimes you just can't win! I had a recent experience where a parent got upset because I recognized a child for making positive choices! She spoke inappropriately and rudely to me in the classroom, so unfortunately, after she refused to meet with my principal and I, I simply have to choose not to speak to her when she comes into my classroom. She is unpredictable and verbally abusive, and although I understand that she must have some issues that are causing such behavior, my job is to ensure that her child has a safe, positive place to be at school. Thanks so much for your blog! I look forward to reading more!
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